The Agony of Disbelief




Lauren is exuberant over finally feeling palpable release from her abuser of ten years, a man she believed she would spend her life with. Nevertheless after a prolonged period of no contact and a meaningful trajectory of trauma informed treatment, permutations of anguish linger. The source of her distress is no longer about him, but about those who have bought into the narrative that her version of reality was distorted, extremist and untrue. She is plagued by having her victimization written off as a figment of her misguided imagination. Even worse, she is mortified that others view her instability as the basis for her assumed delusional interpretation of events, while the man who induced symptoms of trauma and dissociation is given a free pass.Undoubtedly, contentious truths that oppose one’s version of reality are psychologically debilitating. The reality is, we are compelled to discredit or deny difficult truths. When information provokes strong negative emotions (fear, anger, or anxiety) the inclination to protect one’s emotional well-being by denying or ignoring that information reflexively kicks in. To shield one’s psyche against harsh reality, we limit the intrusion of new information or simply cancel out thoughts that counter pre-existing beliefs, in order to return to a state of internal equilibrium. By denying that which causes distress and simply choosing attitudes or beliefs that assuage anxiety a modicum of stability is guaranteed. In short, cognitive dissonance and confirmation biases obfuscate truths which cause discomfort and contradict our worldview. Hence, significant truths are rejected and selective information is relied upon to support one’s desired conclusions.