How It Feels To Break Free From Religion After 18 Years of Devotion




I can’t remember the first time that I have thought of leaving my religion. I feel that, in a way, I never did. The convictions of my childhood and society have been deeply ingrained in me that there wasn’t even the possibility that I would ever leave my religion.I grew up in a conservative Muslim community, and until the age of 18, I was a fairly religious person. I have even gone as far as to memorize the entirety of the Holy Quran. I didn’t just take in what Islam said, I also understood it. I felt like I’m a true follower. That all changed after I started a process of questioning that eventually led me to becoming Agnostic. During this process, I lived some of the hardest days of my life, being in a continuous existential crisis. Fears of death, motivations to live, and societal challenges.

I’m a curious person, with a passion for astronomy and science. One day, while exploring the IMDB list for best tv shows, I found Cosmos. It impressed me with a 9.3/10 rating, IMDB thinks it is the 10th best tv show of all time. As I started watching the series with an open-minded approach, I wondered if what they said were true? Was evolution theory and other theories of the cosmos correct when compared to what I have been taught by Islam my whole life. I went on a research journey reading books, watching videos, and learning more in any way I could.