One Foot Over the Grave




Through pain and loss, we see the world through a unique lens, one that crystalizes priorities. I experienced this with the death of my brother. Except for the welfare of my immediate family, there was nothing more important during his last few months than just being with him. I could discard life’s insignificant distractions. My To-do list was nothing more than a handful of reminders of what was most important to me. Life offers us reminders and sign posts of what we need to be focusing on.Priorities get pushed down the list, sandwiched between meeting with someone you’ve never met and buying new shoes on Amazon.

I was walking down the hallway of the residential community where my mom now lives. I have been staying with her for the past eight weeks. The community is composed of eighty people who are on average in their mid-eighties. It is a collective wisdom of over 6,000 years. The discussions are not about careers, promotions, college admissions, and carrying a few extra pounds. Their world revolves around family and closest friends. They need and crave community as much as food and shelter. Politics are discussed but conversations quickly return to health, past/present partners, family, and grandchildren.