4 Habits Confident People Avoid





 Confidence is one of those things you can’t really get directly. You can’t just try to be confident any more than you can try to be happy. In fact, sometimes this direct approach to seeking confidence can backfire: You’re so worried about being more confident, that you make yourself anxious and insecure — the opposite of confident! As a psychologist, I work with people every day who have serious issues with low confidence and poor self-esteem. This gives me a relatively unique insight into the world of confidence and how it works: I get to see very specific patterns and habits that cause people to lose confidence and feel insecure.

If you can identify these habits in your own life and work to eliminate them, I think you’ll find that confidence has a way of showing up on its own. When we feel anxious, ask for reassurance, and then get it, we temporarily feel relieved of our anxiety and fears. Like a fast-acting pain medication, reassurance is great at alleviating emotional pain and doubt in the short term. But just like all pain medication, reassurance is a Band-Aid that treats the symptoms, not the cause. Maybe you get relief for a few hours, a few minutes… maybe just a few short seconds and then, inevitably, the fear and worry and insecurity are back, usually stronger than ever.